I discovered today that even now, at my ripe old age of 31, I am learning and growing every day. I am drawing from experiences and changing with every breath. I walked into a work situation today, and knew that it was going to be a life changing moment for me. I recognized the circumstances, and as I stood there at the start of my visit, I knew in my core that this moment would be significant forever in my life. I would not have known that even a year ago in my career. I would have gone without recognizing the signs.
The benefit of this ongoing learning process - and I mean not only in my career, but in my personal life as well, is that I can take a step back more easily, assess the situation and take appropriate steps to make these moments as positive as possible. I act more rationally, leave with less regrets, and maximize my experiences.
I don't think I knew this in my 20's. I think I thought I knew everything. I thought I had the upper hand on life - had it all figured out. Now in my 30's, I realize that life is about growing, changing and learning. Constantly. Wonder what my 40's will bring....
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
**Eyes Full Of Disgust
Some days my kids look at eachother as if the other is the worst human being on the planet. Every time one so much as brushes by the other, the world practically explodes.
The funny thing is that they seem to mutually feel the same about one another on any given day. Either they get along famously, leaving the adult in the house glowing in the ability to do adult-needed things throughout the day, or they despise one another.
Perhaps they have a meeting at the start of the day to determine which it will be.
Today for example my daughter had a hissy-fit because "HE TOUCHED MY HELMET!" while bike riding. What am I supposed to say to that?!? He touched your helmet...aaaannnnddddd.......Oh! I see! He touched your helmet. I should definitely send him to his room for the rest of his life, never to be seen again, right?
One says a word, the other snaps back that it was used inappropriately. My son spits the words "you should know that", as my daughter spits back "how should I know, I'm only 5?!" And on we go on the downwards spiral. I've heard you should let them figure it out - fight it out, develop their sense of themselves, but if the situation is not interjected upon early on in the argument it gets UGLY. And I mean UGLY!
The other day I was on the phone (my cell) with a friend when they had an explosion over a skipping rope. They screamed so loud that they set off the glass break sensor on our alarm system. So on top of the screaming and crying there was the siren, then the home phone ringing (the alarm company calling to see who broke a window), me screaming over it all telling them to be quiet so I can hear on the phone....it was not our finest moment.
So all I ask it to be informed of the consensus of their meeting each morning - whether it will be a peaceful day or to prepare for war. I just need to know if I should drag along my earplugs and sedatives, or if I'll be okay without.
The funny thing is that they seem to mutually feel the same about one another on any given day. Either they get along famously, leaving the adult in the house glowing in the ability to do adult-needed things throughout the day, or they despise one another.
Perhaps they have a meeting at the start of the day to determine which it will be.
Today for example my daughter had a hissy-fit because "HE TOUCHED MY HELMET!" while bike riding. What am I supposed to say to that?!? He touched your helmet...aaaannnnddddd.......Oh! I see! He touched your helmet. I should definitely send him to his room for the rest of his life, never to be seen again, right?
One says a word, the other snaps back that it was used inappropriately. My son spits the words "you should know that", as my daughter spits back "how should I know, I'm only 5?!" And on we go on the downwards spiral. I've heard you should let them figure it out - fight it out, develop their sense of themselves, but if the situation is not interjected upon early on in the argument it gets UGLY. And I mean UGLY!
The other day I was on the phone (my cell) with a friend when they had an explosion over a skipping rope. They screamed so loud that they set off the glass break sensor on our alarm system. So on top of the screaming and crying there was the siren, then the home phone ringing (the alarm company calling to see who broke a window), me screaming over it all telling them to be quiet so I can hear on the phone....it was not our finest moment.
So all I ask it to be informed of the consensus of their meeting each morning - whether it will be a peaceful day or to prepare for war. I just need to know if I should drag along my earplugs and sedatives, or if I'll be okay without.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
**A New Era
We seem to have entered a new era in our household. I suppose it was inevitable with the kids growing up so quickly, but even though I expected changes, I didn't expect them to happen so quickly and drastically.
This new era is an era of technology. They all said it was coming. They speak of it even on the news. Eventually kids only have interest in things that plug in. They used to go off and play together - they played pretend. Baby, school, puppy, whatever. If they weren't playing pretend they were often colouring or playing with toys. Sure they fought sometimes, and they did enjoy playing on "nickjr.com" and with their "leapster", but the majority of free time was spent just being kids.
Lately they are only happy playing Wii or DS or computer or watching television. And although we still limit these activities (pretty strictly actually), they seem to be at a loss when we unplug them. This weekend they both actually lay on the living room floor whining "I'M BOOOOORRRRREEEDD!" when we said no video games or tv. Are you freaking kidding me?! We have toys coming out of our ears, we have every craft you can think of, we have eighteen shelves full of games and puzzles, you have parents willing to engage you and play with you, and STILL you are at a loss?!
I'm pretty sure it's a developmental phase. I can see them changing before my eyes. Gone are the days of blowing up a single balloon and throwing it on the living room floor yielding countless hours of happiness, playfullness, jumping and laughing. These days we have to work harder for it.
I miss seeing their eyes light up for the littlest things. I guess this is life. Parenting has to change as your kids develop into their own little people. I hope I guided them appropriately up until now, and I hope I learn to adapt my parenting skills to continue guiding them in the right direction as their needs and interests change.
This new era is an era of technology. They all said it was coming. They speak of it even on the news. Eventually kids only have interest in things that plug in. They used to go off and play together - they played pretend. Baby, school, puppy, whatever. If they weren't playing pretend they were often colouring or playing with toys. Sure they fought sometimes, and they did enjoy playing on "nickjr.com" and with their "leapster", but the majority of free time was spent just being kids.
Lately they are only happy playing Wii or DS or computer or watching television. And although we still limit these activities (pretty strictly actually), they seem to be at a loss when we unplug them. This weekend they both actually lay on the living room floor whining "I'M BOOOOORRRRREEEDD!" when we said no video games or tv. Are you freaking kidding me?! We have toys coming out of our ears, we have every craft you can think of, we have eighteen shelves full of games and puzzles, you have parents willing to engage you and play with you, and STILL you are at a loss?!
I'm pretty sure it's a developmental phase. I can see them changing before my eyes. Gone are the days of blowing up a single balloon and throwing it on the living room floor yielding countless hours of happiness, playfullness, jumping and laughing. These days we have to work harder for it.
I miss seeing their eyes light up for the littlest things. I guess this is life. Parenting has to change as your kids develop into their own little people. I hope I guided them appropriately up until now, and I hope I learn to adapt my parenting skills to continue guiding them in the right direction as their needs and interests change.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
**The Last Two Months
Sickness sucks. There's no nice way to put it. One of us gets sick and it debilitates the family. More time is spent indoors getting sour with eachother, the television is permanently on for the one who has no energy to do anything else, inevitibly drawing in the healthy ones to become couch potatoes as well.
We have had our share of sicknesses in the last two months. A whopping FIVE illnesses for my son since March break, TWO for my daughter, TWO for me, and amazingly enough, Hubby got off Scott free. Not sure how that works...
It started right before March Break. My boy got strep throat. He was SICK. High fever, lethargic, even threw up. When I discovered the white spots in his throat I was relieved. I knew that 24 hours on antibiotics is a sure cure, and he won't even be contagious anymore. I was right. Back to normal within a day.
Fast-forward 3 weeks or so. The sore throat and fever come back. Back to the pediatric walk in clinic (because of course this never happens during the week, right?) and another positive strep throat culture. New antibiotic because obviously the first one didn't do it's full job. Again back to normal within 24 hours.
Fast-forward ONE week this time. STILL on antibiotics. Sore throat returns. This time it is during the week for a change and we go to the regular doctor. Our hero, Dr. K. thinks the strep is still there. Cultures again (he is getting to be a pro at throat swabs) and gives a new prescription to only fill when the one he is still taking is done.
Two days later, he gets a huge cold. The sore throat was not strep this time, just a cold. The cultures were finally negative and we avoided a third round of antibiotics.
Daughter and I catch the cold, hers lasting a couple of days with only sniffles, me being down and out for a few days with fever and blowing things out of my nose that no one should ever have to witness. This goes on for over a week.
Just as we're all on the upswing and getting back to feeling normal, my son gets a fever. On a Thursday night. Back to Dr. K. Friday (I believe they have put our names right on the exam room door now) and she thinks the throat is still clear. This time she does a blood test cause this is getting ridiculous!
The fever lasts 3 days and a new cold and cough develop (illness number 4 in case you've lost count). I'm not sure the other cold was even totally gone....
The blood tests come back normal (and she tested for everything in the book!) and in fact she is impressed with his numbers. Just viruses she says. "Unlucky this spring" she says....
Six days later he wakes up and pukes. He threw up twice and then was fine. A missed day of school, some more television and games on the computer. The next day my daughter gets it, the next day me. Apparently this virus doesn't make females puke though. Only the other thing...
And now - six days past the last illness I lay in wait for the next to arrive. Every time someone so much as frowns I brace myself for the next round of sickness. I am so sick of sickness. When it all started back before March Break, it had been about a year since we had used any of our medications. Some had expired! I was so spoiled back then....
I have to be thankful that both my kids seem to recover quickly from their bugs, but when they get a new one every week, it's kind of hard to tell where one ends and the next begins.
Please think healthy thoughts for us. I don't know how many more rounds I can handle.
We have had our share of sicknesses in the last two months. A whopping FIVE illnesses for my son since March break, TWO for my daughter, TWO for me, and amazingly enough, Hubby got off Scott free. Not sure how that works...
It started right before March Break. My boy got strep throat. He was SICK. High fever, lethargic, even threw up. When I discovered the white spots in his throat I was relieved. I knew that 24 hours on antibiotics is a sure cure, and he won't even be contagious anymore. I was right. Back to normal within a day.
Fast-forward 3 weeks or so. The sore throat and fever come back. Back to the pediatric walk in clinic (because of course this never happens during the week, right?) and another positive strep throat culture. New antibiotic because obviously the first one didn't do it's full job. Again back to normal within 24 hours.
Fast-forward ONE week this time. STILL on antibiotics. Sore throat returns. This time it is during the week for a change and we go to the regular doctor. Our hero, Dr. K. thinks the strep is still there. Cultures again (he is getting to be a pro at throat swabs) and gives a new prescription to only fill when the one he is still taking is done.
Two days later, he gets a huge cold. The sore throat was not strep this time, just a cold. The cultures were finally negative and we avoided a third round of antibiotics.
Daughter and I catch the cold, hers lasting a couple of days with only sniffles, me being down and out for a few days with fever and blowing things out of my nose that no one should ever have to witness. This goes on for over a week.
Just as we're all on the upswing and getting back to feeling normal, my son gets a fever. On a Thursday night. Back to Dr. K. Friday (I believe they have put our names right on the exam room door now) and she thinks the throat is still clear. This time she does a blood test cause this is getting ridiculous!
The fever lasts 3 days and a new cold and cough develop (illness number 4 in case you've lost count). I'm not sure the other cold was even totally gone....
The blood tests come back normal (and she tested for everything in the book!) and in fact she is impressed with his numbers. Just viruses she says. "Unlucky this spring" she says....
Six days later he wakes up and pukes. He threw up twice and then was fine. A missed day of school, some more television and games on the computer. The next day my daughter gets it, the next day me. Apparently this virus doesn't make females puke though. Only the other thing...
And now - six days past the last illness I lay in wait for the next to arrive. Every time someone so much as frowns I brace myself for the next round of sickness. I am so sick of sickness. When it all started back before March Break, it had been about a year since we had used any of our medications. Some had expired! I was so spoiled back then....
I have to be thankful that both my kids seem to recover quickly from their bugs, but when they get a new one every week, it's kind of hard to tell where one ends and the next begins.
Please think healthy thoughts for us. I don't know how many more rounds I can handle.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
**More Randomness
I enjoyed writing random thoughts about myself (as odd as that sounds) so I thought I'd give it a go again.
1. Not that anyone likes their kids being sick, but it is one of my worst fears. I know too much as a nurse that I always think the worst...even when it's very minor. I worry WAY too much!
2. I'm a pessimist. Glass is almost always half empty but I think it spares me heartache that way.
3. The only beverage I drink other than one coffee a day is water.
4. I found that the only good part of pregnancy (other than the outcome of course) was feeling the baby move inside. I could sit there all day and take that in.
5. I know quite a few famous people personally.
6. I recently helped a friend discover her husband is cheating - and I don't think I'll ever forgive myself.
7. I still bathe my kids together even though I know they're getting too old for it. It's just so much easier!
8. I once had a dream about George Clooney.
9. My hair is very thin even though it doesn't look that way from the curls. It all fell out after I had kids.
10. Of all life's big events, I found moving to be the most stressful - over and above getting married and having kids.
11. I love the feel of warm sand between my toes.
12. I'm allergic to spring. I get a rash on my hands and forearms every spring. No doctor has any idea as to why.
13. I like writing - gets my thoughts out. If I'm upset with someone I write them a letter. It often doesn't get sent but I feel SO much better after!
14. I believe I'm addicted to text messaging. Perhaps I can find a program...
15. We found a sparrow's nest above our porch light with six little eggs inside.
16. I don't understand eating spicy food - you can't taste the food! You can only taste the spice!
17. I can still play the flute, though the ability to read music has fizzled.
18. I played an audience game on The Rosie O'Donnell Show in 2001.
19. I used to not mind it much but as I grow older I HATE driving in the snow!
20. Most of my circle of friends are older than me.
1. Not that anyone likes their kids being sick, but it is one of my worst fears. I know too much as a nurse that I always think the worst...even when it's very minor. I worry WAY too much!
2. I'm a pessimist. Glass is almost always half empty but I think it spares me heartache that way.
3. The only beverage I drink other than one coffee a day is water.
4. I found that the only good part of pregnancy (other than the outcome of course) was feeling the baby move inside. I could sit there all day and take that in.
5. I know quite a few famous people personally.
6. I recently helped a friend discover her husband is cheating - and I don't think I'll ever forgive myself.
7. I still bathe my kids together even though I know they're getting too old for it. It's just so much easier!
8. I once had a dream about George Clooney.
9. My hair is very thin even though it doesn't look that way from the curls. It all fell out after I had kids.
10. Of all life's big events, I found moving to be the most stressful - over and above getting married and having kids.
11. I love the feel of warm sand between my toes.
12. I'm allergic to spring. I get a rash on my hands and forearms every spring. No doctor has any idea as to why.
13. I like writing - gets my thoughts out. If I'm upset with someone I write them a letter. It often doesn't get sent but I feel SO much better after!
14. I believe I'm addicted to text messaging. Perhaps I can find a program...
15. We found a sparrow's nest above our porch light with six little eggs inside.
16. I don't understand eating spicy food - you can't taste the food! You can only taste the spice!
17. I can still play the flute, though the ability to read music has fizzled.
18. I played an audience game on The Rosie O'Donnell Show in 2001.
19. I used to not mind it much but as I grow older I HATE driving in the snow!
20. Most of my circle of friends are older than me.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
**Annoying Ads
I have been particlarly annoyed by certain radio commercials lately. I am in my car many hours of the day and spend every second listening to the radio (except when I'm on my cell phone - for which I use a bluetooth, don't fret). I spend the first hour listening to 680 news. Once those stories start repeating, I switch to music stations and flip between them for the remainder of the day.
Why in the world would anyone want a commercial that says "If you have a wallet with something in it, we want you at Kooy Brothers". How much more rude can you get?! They may as well say "we don't really care if you are happy with our service or products. We just want your money".
What about the Toronto Blue Jays commercials? They're trying to say that specific players were born to play the game. There's a little voice singing the ABC's, only he sings them "A-B-C-D-E-R-A". Ha ha. E.R.A. Very funny. Not.
These companies pay people a lot of money to come up with these ideas - not only that, but they pay a lot of money to get these commercials on the radio! Why waste everyone's time and money on crap like that? Every time one comes on when I'm tuned in, I certainly feel like that was 30 seconds of my life that I will never get back.
Why in the world would anyone want a commercial that says "If you have a wallet with something in it, we want you at Kooy Brothers". How much more rude can you get?! They may as well say "we don't really care if you are happy with our service or products. We just want your money".
What about the Toronto Blue Jays commercials? They're trying to say that specific players were born to play the game. There's a little voice singing the ABC's, only he sings them "A-B-C-D-E-R-A". Ha ha. E.R.A. Very funny. Not.
These companies pay people a lot of money to come up with these ideas - not only that, but they pay a lot of money to get these commercials on the radio! Why waste everyone's time and money on crap like that? Every time one comes on when I'm tuned in, I certainly feel like that was 30 seconds of my life that I will never get back.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
**Kitty Trauma
Okay, so here's a story I didn't share with almost anyone. Back in October, after thinking about getting a kitten for many months, I found a lady on CraigsList who lives in Markham giving away 5 week old kittens for free. We hummed and hawed but decided to go see her, and ultimately brought her home. It was a Sunday. When we first brought her home she hid under the couch for hours. We had an idea to bring her into a room that had no place to hide so that she could get to know us. In my daughter's room, the kids played with her with pieces of string, they scratched her and snuggled with her for about an hour and a half. Then my son had what I thought was an asthma attack. He was trapped in that room with all of little Keisha's (the kid's named her) allergens and he started to cough and wheeze. He hadn't done that in years. His asthma was pretty much gone.
Hubby and I escaped from the kids and the cat and decided (with much drama and hesitation) that we had to give her back right away. Even her spending one night here would make it even harder for the kids to let go. We called the owner and she completely understood and told us to bring her back. The moment I walked into that room to tell the kids that Keisha had to go back was probably one of the worst family moments I can remember. Both kids collapsed in tears. My daughter sobbed into her hands and my son cried "No! No!" repeatedly.
I told them a white lie. I said that **I** was allergic to Keisha. I didn't want my son to feel responsible. I wasn't thinking clearly at the time, and most of it is a fog, but I am glad that I made that decision. I didn't want to make my daughter resent him, and I didn't want him to feel worse about the situation then he already did. I explained that as much as we love her already, after only a few hours, it is much more important to have a healthy Mommy. I explained that if we kept her, Mommy would have a sore throat and cough every single day, and that would make me tired and grumpy and no one would want that. They agreed, but still cried - for what felt like hours.
My husband drove Keisha back to her owner and handed her back to the amazingly understanding woman while I stayed home trying to comfort the kids.
The next day, my son came down with a terrible cough and cold. It lasted weeks and my daughter got it too. It made me feel that maybe we jumped the gun. Perhaps we returned Keisha too soon and it was just this terrible virus coming on. I made an appointment with an allergist. He tested NEGATIVE for a cat allergy. The allergist told us that all cats have different dander, and he could be allergic to one and not another. He suggested (and explained how to) do a home allergy skin test with dander from my mom's cat. We did it. NEGATIVE.
Keisha has since found a good home (the day after we returned her), and Keisha's mommy has given birth to a new litter of four kitties. Now a new dilemma arises. Do we do it again? If we do it again, we have to be sure that we are adopting this kitten for life. I won't put them through this again. Part of me tells me to leave well enough alone, and the other part of me says that they would really benefit from a kitten so much, and we have made pretty sure that it wasn't an allergy, so why not? It would make them (and me) so happy, and it will mend the wounds of Keisha (who they still talk about regularly).
I am bad at making big decisions - extremely bad. The owner of the kittens has agreed to let us visit them about a week before they're ready to go home and spend an hour or so amongst their dander and saliva - even having them lick my son - to ensure there is no reaction. He has never reacted to a cat before...ugh. I HATE making tough decisions!!! I keep thinking what if.....
(The picture above is of our Keisha. She was ours for a whole 6 hours.)
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