**A mish-mash

There has been a terrible shift in my household. I feel sad and confused, and in need of a hug.

The time has come that my children do not find it fun to do favours for me.

How does this happen over-night?

Yesterday I could bellow "who wants to get a new box of kleenex for the downstairs bathroom?!", and I would be bombarded by squeals of "ME!" "NO ME!!" "IT'S MY TURN TO HELP MOMMY!".

Today I got a very quick "no thanks", in stereo, nonetheless. Perfect.

I had a bad day. Everything that could go wrong DID go wrong. It started with a snowball effect of running late at work causing me to feel like I was climbing a slip-n-slide coated in butter. I sat down to pay the bills when I got home and could NOT balance my account for the life of me, then picked up the kids and drove directly to the dance shoe store. After spending way too long fitting my daughter for jazz shoes and "convertible tights" (don't ask me what that means, all I know is the lady said she needed them and at that point I didn't feel that using my time to listen to her answer to the question at the tip of my tongue - "why" - was worth my time, so I just said "okay"), I paid my ***SEVENTY-EIGHT DOLLARS**** (!!!) and was on my way.

As I pulled into the driveway I felt my tension releasing, felt my awful day coming to a close as all I had to do was throw potatoes in the oven to bake, empty the kids bags, do homework, boil peas and check on the crockpot, change the fish water and take a shower (yes, this was easy compared to my day), I unlocked my door and realized that my dear son left his baseball cap sitting in the dance store.

Should I be surprised? Nope, not after my day.

So back we drove, me trying to swear only in my head, them being very, very quiet knowing I was not so much thrilled by this turn of events, we rescued the hat and came home - half an hour behind schedule.

So now it is 8:14pm and it is the first time I have sat down all day. Other than in the car driving to and from the dance store twice.

That was a big bitch-fest. Sorry for that.

My last tidbit stems from a conversation with a friend in pubic relations. She told me that tasteful product endorsements in my blog could yield some freebies. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE Honda SUV's? Hey, after my day, I think I deserve it.

**My 2 Cents On The Gosselins

Is it wrong to say that I can see the points of view of both Jon and Kate Gosselin? For a long time now - prior to all of their struggles being put forth by the media, I have said aloud that they have major issues. When they renewed their vows in Hawaii I told hubby that the tension while they danced and held eachother was palpable.

Now, as I follow the media frenzy and watch as friends, family and celebrities choose sides, I have to admit that I find neither Jon nor Kate totally in the wrong. The only thing that I agree with wholeheartedly is the damage it is doing to the kids.

He says she beat him down and made him feel worthless, he was verbally abused and she gave him ultimatums and made the decision to end the marriage-as well as stealing his wedding ring one day while they were still putting on the charade. I can see her doing every one of those things (and have actually seen her do some of them!). She probably felt angry and stressed (how could she not with her life responsibilities) and she took her anger out on him. What I don't think she counted on, however, was Jon finding his voice, finding love and affection in other places, and realizing that life was better without her abuse. She never thought he would leave-she didn't think he had enough balls.

I do believe that she is truly remorseful for what happened and now that her life is panning out the way it is, she is wishing she could take back a good portion of her actions over the last 5 years. She is being forced to see herself through the eyes of everyone else and it is making her realize that she made her bed, and now she has to lie in it. Alone. She is again displacing her anger. Really she is angry at herself for digging this grave that snowballed out of her control, but she is saying she is angry with Jon's actions. Sure, having your girlfriends over whilst caring for your eight emotionally fragile kids isn't the brightest move, but he is flexing his newly freed muscles. He will learn from his mistakes and figure it out.

She feels sad that she is alone, in her mid-thirties with eight kids and a nation that thinks she is a bully and a bad mother. She is not a bad mother. She has her times of stress, she has her moments of frustration, but I do believe that she maintains an appropriate core focus. Her kids. They would not be such well-rounded, well behaved, pleasant children if she was not a good mother. She didn't expect it to turn out this way and she cries all the time because she realizes she messed up big time and there is no eraser in the real world.

There it is. My completely unprofessional, unsolicited opinion, my best guess based on my observations. Take it as you wish.