**Jitters

I can't sit still. I literally can NOT sit without moving. I am so excited. My family comes home today from their trip out west. They have been gone for thirteen days. That's a long time. While I enjoy my time to myself and making my own schedule and rules, I also love when they come home. I can't wait to kiss and hug them...smell them! Isn't it funny that I miss their smells? How strange is that? If I were to list things that I miss about them, their smells would be right up there with their voices and their squeezes.

I kept myself busy the last thirteen days. Clearly I haven't been blogging, but I have gone out with a lot of friends, had some nights in with friends for games and karaoke, I've done things I haven't done in years like go to a Blue Jays game. I napped a lot, and in turn I learned something about myself. I don't sleep as well at night if my nap exceeds an hour. Who knew? I still sleep, but in a much lighter, less satisfying sleep. Don't fret, this fact will in no way impede my love of napping. Nope, I can live with sleeping lighter at night. Daytime naps are totally worth it.

So now I as I vibrate in my kitchen chair, waiting for the clock to hurry up, I realize I need to find something to do for the next hour. I'm gonna go find something to clean. That always passes the time. Yay! My family is coming home!!!!! My world is falling back into place once again.

**Busy Is The Key

I don't do well with too much time on my hands. All year long I whine that I don't have enough time to myself and fantasize about having time to do simple things like read a book or put pictures in a photo album. My family has just been away for their yearly trip, and I have come to a realization. If I could have time to myself in very small quantities, I'd be happiest.

My time spent with the family away was a true testament to the saying "the grass is always greener on the other side". For the first week I did something every single day. I went out for dinners, played bingo, went to a casino, went to a Blue Jays game, hosted a games night, hosted a karaoke night - all of which were wonderful, fun times that I normally don't get to do...or at least not all in one week! During the first week, I looked forward to my slower-paced second week. I imagined all I'd get done around the house, all the relaxation time I'd have, all the tv shows and movies I'd watch. After day one of no plans after work, I was totally done. I watched 3 1/2 hours of television (which of course I had to catch up on), felt like a couch potato, then I tried to be productive and change pictures in our kitchen frames and clean out the linen closet. I realized I didn't really feel like doing chores after that, so I went to bed early.

My life is hectic and stressful on a regular basis and I think my body goes into a state of shock when it doesn't need to keep up with that pace. I realize now that busy is my niche. Stick with what you're good at, right? I'm good at being busy. I'm going to go with that from now on. Slow and relaxing is fun for an hour or two, but overall is definitely not for me!

**Pausing Time

As a child - like many, I'm sure - all I wanted to do was grow up. I wanted more responsibility, more independence, more freedom.

As a teenager I was in a rush to finish school and start my 'real life'. I wondered why it seemed like it was taking so long to get where I knew I wanted to go.

Once I reached young adulthood, I was in a hurry to marry and start my family. Having been so lucky to find my 'mate' at such a young age and be so sure that he was the 'one', I was in a hurry to get that ball rolling.

Now we are married and have two wonderful children, and for the first time in my life, I want time to stand still. I want THESE days to last forever. I want every giggle, every profound moment to go on and on. They are growing up, my babies. I am beginning to realize that these are the times I have been striving for all my life. All the rest was just practice for this - this REAL life.

If I could freeze time and live happily ever after with my 4 and 6 year old, I would be happy to never enter another life phase. THIS is what life is about. I am currently living my own dream.

**Vomit at Costco

Anyone out there who has kids, I have a very important piece of advice for you. Do not go to Costco with a child that says they have a tummy ache. Trust me. It just ain't worth it!

Let me paint the picture. A few days ago. A nice summer day. I get home from work. I say "let's go do our shopping at Costco". Daugther says "but my tummy hurts". She says this a lot. Whenever she doesn't want to do something, or someone hurts her feelings, or something else is bothering her that she doesn't want to talk about...so I make nothing of it and pile hubby and kids into the car with the promise of a snack on the way there to make her tummy feel better.

A granola bar later, we're in the store with little girl in the cart and little boy walking behind. Daughter says "I'm cold". It is kinda chilly in there so I grab a sweater off the shelf to cover her shoulders with. Hubby goes down frozen food aisle and I hang back with kids. Daughter turns an awful shade of green and looks like she's gonna blow. I grab the only thing within reach - the sweater - and attempt to catch all the vomit. There is a lot of vomit. Son freezes and backs slowly away as it's splashing off the floor and up onto my legs. I yell (at the top of my lungs) for hubby. No response. More vomiting, Son is like a deer in headlights. I yell again. Hubby comes in (what feels like) slow motion but I know he did run. Not sure why I called cause he sure can't make her stop vomiting! Finally the vomit is done, it's pooled in her lap, down her legs, in her shoes, and that sweater....that poor, poor sweater. What do I do with it? I'd buy it but I'm sure no cashier in their right mind would want to scan the damn thing.

Hubby runs off with dumbfounded son to wash his vomity hands. I stand holding the dripping sweater unsure of what to do. I place it on top of a garbage can. I'm a bad, bad person. It's not the money (not sure of how much it cost) but I wanted to get the hell out of there and get home before more vomit came.

I reach the front of the store and get stopped by the cashier - I forgot I had stuff in my cart. I was NOT about to wait in line to pay for my fish and fajita shells! I said - in some hasty voice I'm sure - "take it out! I don't want it! She just threw up and we have to go!". I hope somewhere in that exchange the cashier got the idea that she may want to call for a clean up in the aisle we were in, as well as on the cart I was pushing. I grabbed napkins from the restaurant (sure that the patrons of the restaurant were thrilled by the vomit filled child that was being pushed by their noses) and ran to the parking lot.

We stripped poor daughter down to her underwear in the parking lot as she said "but someone will see my private parts!" and I assured her that no one was looking, wiped her as best I could with a dozen napkins and raced home as fast as I could. We got home vomit free. Poor kid ran so fast into the house across the lawn in her princess underwear. She'll probably be in therapy in twenty years telling the shrink how Mommy made her run around with her private parts showing.

Now Hubby says he's sure that Costco has cameras and security will chase us down the next time we enter through those doors. Excellent.

**2 Busy 2 Change

I am - how can I say - allergic to change...similar to my clutter allergy. I'm an anti-change sort of girl. I prefer things to stay the same as I find it much easier to function in an everyday busy life sort of way. I'm too busy for change. Learning new things and routines interrupt my current routines. I seem to have a filing system in my brain. There are many folders and subfolders for useful and important information, then there is a whole section for stuff I don't need to know. In that useless info folder is pretty much my whole life before I was 18. I have a terrible memory for details when I was growing up. Late highschool is pretty clear but the rest of it is fuzzy.

I don't believe that it means I have a bad memory, I just like to believe that I don't put brain power into remembering things that I don't need to remember. Things like names. I'm terrible with names. I totally believe that it's my coping mechanism. I have a busy life, I meet a lot of people and I need to remember a lot of things - many of them peoples lives depend on. I'm pretty sure that my way of coping with that amount of important info is by deleting the things that aren't quite as important. They aren't gone forever - they're in there somewhere - like in a recycling bin on my computer. They are retrievable if necessary but not readily available.

So this is why I don't like change. It makes me need to store more info in my brain. When hotmail stopped allowing people to use Outlook Express as their e-mail program and I had to switch to Windows Live Mail, it was a traumatic event for me. I could use Outlook with my eyes closed and then I had to learn a whole new e-mail program. I just dont have room in my brain. Same thing with Microsoft Money. I upgraded to a new version. Why? I have to learn things that I don't have the brain space for. In my opinion, change takes too much work to adjust to and is not recommended for busy people with full lives like mine.