**Inappropriate Anticipation

I don't think that it is healthy that I am thinking about my upcoming trip to Niagara Falls 5,283 times a day. I swear to you, the anticipation of this thirty hour getaway is engulfing me. I am counting the minutes until we venture out on the road, with nothing but relaxation ahead. I'm pretty sure I have a blog that is written almost exactly the same as this one - about the last time we took this adventure, as the anticipation was huge for that one too.

All I can think about is seeing my last patient, picking up my mom, driving there, and then doing nothing but what I feel like doing whenever I feel like doing it. That is what I remember most about the last time I went. After check-in, my mom, brother and I sat there staring at eachother trying to figure out what we wanted to do. That was such a great feeling...with so many hours ahead of us with no schedule - no calendar - no responsibilities. I can't wait to check into the hotel, go exploring, then a relaxing buffet dinner, followed by a yummy cappuccino while overlooking the lit-up falls. Then maybe I'll take a dip in the hot tub followed by a zip down the water slide. Perhaps after that I'll play a little 2/5 Texas Hold 'Em...by then I'll be ready for my Tim Horton's Coffee and midnight snack, a walk around the casino to watch people playing games I don't understand (like craps...I don't think I'll ever understand that one!) then a snooze in my king sized bed overlooking my personal Jacuzzi tub. In the morning we'll lazily enjoy our enormous egg and home fries breakfast, then maybe a walk to the falls, some sightseeing, maybe some more Texas Hold 'Em at the other casino, a leisurely lunch wherever the day has lead us, and then the afternoon to do whatever - whenever.

To most this sounds just like a nice day. To me, it is the equivalent of a two week tropical vacation at a five star hotel. I hope this lives up to my expectations. I'm worried that I may be psyching myself up for a huge disappointment. I can't help it though. These thoughts are running through my mind...like a man thinking about sex, I just can't get it off my mind! It's terrible. I better not be let down. I'm going to go pack...

**Things that make me go Grrr

Today seems like as good of a day as any to blog about things that irk me. I've been so busy lately that the little things that always bug me have more than bugged me this past week for the simple reason that I don't have time to be bugged. If they were little bugs to me before, they're enormous tarantulas now!

Wet boots. How is it that every pair of winter boots that I have ever worn have leaked water in as if I were wearing a pair of crocs?! Why are winter boots not made better? Am I just not buying the right ones? There is nothing worse than soggy socks inside cold boots all day long...to the point of my skin peeling off! So I bought the ugliest of the ugly rubber boots that go up to my knees and are the worst pattern of plaid ever - but they keep my feet dry and THAT is all that counts in my eyes!

Issue number two: I am always the opposite temperature to everyone else I know. The household is cold? I'm sweating. The household is hot? I'm in my fuzzy penguin robe huddled by the heating vent with my warm bean bag thing around my neck. What is up with that? Hubby and I get into bed every night feeling opposite temperatures. Without fail. I just don't get it.

Issue number three: I have freakishly small hands. It's my thing. The small gloves at work hang off my fingertips, though I have become remarkably good at manipulating difficult tapes with them on. My wrists are fairly normal sized but watches on me look like clown shoes on a clown. I suppose it's the hands that do me in, but I can't get a tiny watch because of my job - it's tough to take a pulse when you need a magnifying glass for your watch! So if I look disproportionate to you, now you know why.

**Busy Crisis

Oh my goodness. I am in a busy crisis right now. This happens every so often - when there is so much on my calendar that every day seems like an uphill climb and even the smallest of changes sends everyone into a tizzy. You should see my calendar. The last two weeks of March consists of the extra-large squares filled to the edges with squished in words and oozing out the sides of the weekends and down the bottom of the pages. Last minute activities such as an all day workshop that all nurses MUST attend has been absolutely impossible to schedule in. The craziest thing? There were about twelve days to choose from and NONE of them worked for me. Today I had an appointment which in the end turned out to require a follow-up appointment. I was devastated! I was SO close to getting to cross something off my calendar. CHECK! DONE! But when they told me I had to follow up and do this all over again, I felt so defeated. ANOTHER thing to fit in, squeeze into any free hour I can. It is impossible. I called to reschedule something else I have this week because it conflicted with a meeting, and the next available time it can be done is in MAY! I had to accept it being in May because, frankly, as overdue as it is already, it feels kinda good to cross something off the calendar and not write it in until the nice clean, uncrowded square in May.

The worst part of this busy crisis is my irritability. My poor kids. A simple "Mommy can you play with me?" makes me tense up because as much as playing is numero uno on my list of priorities, it takes away time from my opportunities to do something else. They sense that and then the guilt meter rises....so now we have an overflowing calendar due to a busy crisis, a boiling over guilt meter, and to top it all off, there's no end in sight!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

**Miss Independence

Would it be terrible of me to say that I enjoy nights that my hubby works? Does that make me sound antisocial and selfish? I don't wish he worked every night but I have to be honest here and say that every so often I like my own space for an evening.

Hubby works from home a couple of evenings a week - locking himself in the office with his computer, emerging only for bathroom and the occasional snack breaks. I have free reign of the rest of the house, the computer, the big screen tv, the wii, the karaoke machine...it's all good.

A typical evening when hubby isn't working consists of tv watching, taking turns catching up on e-mail, maybe a game of cards, perhaps some wii. A typical evening with me, myself and I (my favorite three people) is newspaper reading, people magazine reading, blogging, catching up on e-mail without scheduling in a slot on the computer with hubby, a bowl of smartpop in front of the taped 6 o'clock news, games on the computer, American idol game on my Wii, sometimes a hot bubble bath, more reading in bed on my heating pad and drifting off to sleep.

Sometimes a girl needs a night like that. As much as I love my man, I love my own time too. I'm pretty good at keeping myself company, and a couple of nights a week to reconnect with myself does my body good!

**Comment Gosh Darn It!

The secret hope of every blogger I know is the thirst for comments. If you read a blog, you have a reaction. You have an internal thought or thought process going on. It may be positive, negative, a thought that relates to something in your own life, an idea of how it should have been worded, or even notice a spelling mistake. Just comment gosh darn it! Feedback is the key to a good blog. I enjoy blogging because I feel it is a great place to vent, but the drawback to blogging is the lack of feedback. People read, people think, people don't share.

Share gosh darned it!! If you don't want to post on the blog, write me an e-mail. I like feedback good or bad. I won't take it personally if you disagree. I swear!